Group Coaching, a Weak Managers Pitfall
In the fast-paced world of restaurants, strong leadership is the backbone of a successful operation. However, I often see weaker or less experienced managers resort to group coaching or mass communication tactics that undermine their authority and fail to address performance issues effectively. These managers might send a group text to their entire team to address a single employee’s mistake, issuing vague threats like, “If this happens again, there will be consequences.” Not only does this approach avoid necessary confrontation, but it also reduces the manager’s workload at the expense of team morale and productivity. At Tired Chef LLC, we believe that one-on-one coaching, paired with consistent, gentle pressure, is the most effective way to improve employee output and maintain a high-performing team. Let’s explore why group messaging often backfires, how to coach effectively, and the right way to use group communication in a restaurant setting.
The Pitfalls of Group Coaching and Hollow Threats
One of the most common mistakes I see in restaurants is managers using group coaching to sidestep direct confrontation. For example, if a server forgets to upsell specials during a busy shift, a weak manager might send a group text to the entire staff: “Everyone needs to start upselling specials, or we’ll have to rethink schedules.” This approach is flawed for several reasons. First, it fails to address the specific employee who made the mistake, leaving them unaware of the need to improve while making the rest of the team feel unfairly targeted. High-performing staff—those who already upsell consistently—may feel demotivated, wondering why they’re being lumped in with the underperformer. Second, such messages often come with hollow threats, like vague warnings about schedules or write-ups that are rarely followed through. Over time, these empty threats erode the manager’s credibility. Their words lose power, turning what should be a clear signal into background noise that the team learns to ignore.
This reactive approach also misses a crucial opportunity to set proactive expectations. Threatening employees after they’ve let you down creates a culture of fear rather than growth. Instead, managers should establish clear expectations upfront, backed by well-defined consequences. For example, during a pre-shift meeting, a manager might say, “Upselling specials is a key part of our service standard. Each server should aim to upsell at least five specials per shift. If this isn’t met consistently, we’ll schedule a one-on-one to discuss additional training.” If a server then fails to meet this standard, the manager should immediately implement the consequence—schedule that training session—rather than issuing a group threat after the fact. Immediate, consistent follow-through shows the team that expectations are serious, fostering accountability without resentment.
The Power of One-on-One Coaching with Gentle Pressure
The most effective way to improve employee output in a restaurant is through one-on-one coaching, coupled with consistent, gentle pressure. This approach allows managers to address individual performance issues directly, tailor feedback to the employee’s needs, and build a relationship of trust and accountability. For instance, if a cook is struggling with plating consistency, a strong manager would pull them aside after a shift and say, “I noticed your plates tonight weren’t up to our standard—let’s work on this together. I’ll check in with you during tomorrow’s shift to see how you’re doing, and we can refine your technique if needed.” This direct, supportive conversation shows the cook exactly where they need to improve, offers a path forward, and sets a clear timeline for follow-up.
The “gentle pressure” comes from consistent check-ins and reinforcement. The manager might observe the cook’s plating the next day, provide immediate feedback—positive or constructive—and continue this process until the cook meets the standard. This method avoids public shaming, which can demoralize employees, and instead fosters growth through personalized guidance. It also aligns with the Stoic principles we’ve discussed, inspired by Marcus Aurelius’s *Meditations*. In Book 6, Section 16, Marcus warns against those who “seek to please with words” but lack substance, urging leaders to focus on merit. A manager who coaches one-on-one demonstrates a commitment to merit—judging and improving each employee based on their actions, not empty group threats or flattery.
One-on-one coaching also allows managers to address deeper issues that might be affecting performance. A server who’s not upselling might be overwhelmed by a heavy workload, or a cook with inconsistent plating might lack confidence in their skills. These conversations uncover root causes, enabling managers to offer targeted solutions—whether it’s adjusting schedules, providing additional training, or simply offering encouragement. In a restaurant, where every shift is a high-pressure performance, this personalized approach can make the difference between a disengaged team and a cohesive, high-performing one.
The Right Way to Use Group Communication: Praise and Information Sharing
While group coaching is often ineffective for addressing performance issues, group communication has its place in a restaurant setting—when used correctly. One powerful use of group messaging or meetings is to deliver praise. Recognizing employees in front of their peers can amplify the impact of the praise, filling them with pride and motivating the entire team. For example, a manager might send a group text: “I want to give a shoutout to Maria for upselling 10 specials last night—our highest of the week! Great job, Maria, you’re setting the standard for the team.” This not only boosts Maria’s morale but also inspires others to emulate her performance, creating a culture of excellence. Public praise, when genuine and specific, reinforces the behaviors you want to see, aligning with Marcus Aurelius’s emphasis on merit over flattery.
Group communication is also ideal for sharing new information that applies to the entire team. This includes updates like new menu items, revised standards, or changes in expectations. However, these messages should supplement—not replace—your standard operating procedures (SOPs) and pre-shift meetings. For instance, if you’re introducing a new seasonal dish, a group text might say, “We’re rolling out a new fall pasta special tomorrow—details will be covered in tonight’s pre-shift, and the recipe is updated in the SOP binder.” This ensures everyone is on the same page while directing them to the proper channels for deeper understanding. Pre-shifts are the best time to walk through new menu items, demonstrate plating, or role-play service scenarios, ensuring clarity and consistency across the team.
Group messages should never be used to vent frustration or issue threats. When a manager texts, “Everyone needs to step up their game, or we’ll start cutting shifts,” it creates a toxic environment. High performers feel alienated, underperformers feel attacked rather than guided, and the manager’s authority erodes as the team tunes out the noise. Instead, save group communication for positive reinforcement and essential updates, and handle performance issues through direct, one-on-one conversations.
Proactive Leadership: Setting Expectations and Following Through
The key to avoiding reactive threats is proactive leadership. Managers should set clear expectations from the start, ensuring every team member understands their role, the standards they’re held to, and the consequences for not meeting them. This starts with onboarding—new hires should receive a detailed overview of SOPs, service standards, and performance metrics, such as “Clear tables within 5 minutes of guests leaving” or “Maintain a ticket time of under 10 minutes during peak hours.” These expectations should be reinforced regularly through pre-shifts, where managers can remind the team of key priorities and address any upcoming challenges, like a busy weekend rush.
Equally important is immediate follow-through on consequences. If expectations aren’t met, managers must act swiftly and consistently—not with threats, but with the pre-established consequences they’ve outlined. For example, if a server consistently fails to clear tables on time, the manager might say, “We agreed that tables need to be cleared within 5 minutes, but I’ve noticed this hasn’t been happening. Let’s schedule a one-on-one training session tomorrow to work on your workflow.” If the issue persists, the consequence might escalate to a written warning or a shift reduction, but it should always be handled privately and tied directly to the expectation. This approach maintains the manager’s authority, ensures accountability, and gives the employee a clear path to improvement.
Proactive leadership also means anticipating potential issues before they arise. For instance, if a manager knows a new menu item might confuse the team, they can schedule extra training or create a cheat sheet for the staff. By addressing challenges upfront, managers reduce the need for reactive measures like group threats, creating a more stable and supportive environment for the team.
Building a Culture of Growth, Not Fear
Ultimately, the goal of coaching in a restaurant is to build a culture of growth, not fear. Weak managers who rely on group threats or avoid confrontation create a team that’s disengaged, resentful, and inconsistent. Their reactive approach—lashing out after a problem rather than preventing it—undermines their leadership and drags down the entire operation. In contrast, strong managers who embrace one-on-one coaching, set clear expectations, and follow through with consequences foster a team that’s motivated, accountable, and proud of their work.
At Tired Chef LLC, we’ve seen the transformative impact of effective coaching on independent restaurants. A manager who takes the time to coach a struggling server one-on-one can turn them into a top performer, boosting sales through better upselling and service. A chef who works directly with a cook to improve their plating can elevate the entire kitchen’s standards, leading to better reviews and repeat customers. And when praise is shared publicly—whether in a group message or a pre-shift huddle—it inspires the team to strive for excellence, reinforcing a culture where merit, not flattery, drives success.
If you’re a restaurant manager, take a step back and evaluate your approach. Are you avoiding tough conversations by hiding behind group messages? Are you issuing threats instead of setting clear expectations? Shift your focus to one-on-one coaching, proactive leadership, and strategic use of group communication. Your team—and your restaurant—will thrive as a result.